I grew up in Ayer, Massachusetts, which near Fort Devens, a military base. My father is African American. At age 17 he enlisted early in the army.

My mother met him overseas. [in Belgium]At age 19, she was at the age of 19. She was 17.

Now, think about what we know about that period — 1946 through the 1960s. This is something I don’t usually talk about when I share my story. This allows people to share their stories and allow them to pose questions they may not have otherwise. This changes our relationships.

With an average age of 18 years, I am the youngest among six children. Our skin covers every color in the spectrum of light to dark. You can find friends from around the globe, thanks to the nearby military base. I had friends from Samoa and the Philippines as well as Barbados, Korea, Barbados, Barbados, and other places.

This helped me to be more aware of stereotypes and other things that limit people.

You can see stereotypes in a different ways — sometimes as a limit, but sometimes there’s an opportunity.

I was quite common to find myself in one environment, which was predominant African-American. It made me feel a little outsider. It was also true that the reverse was true. My brother, his or my sister’s race would be pointed out by someone who didn’t know we were related. That made me think hard about our assumptions about other people. That is something you can’t shake.

Stereotypes are often viewed as a crutch or burden. Stereotypes can come in many forms. You could even be of a different race. Perhaps it’s simply that you think I’m an accountant major so you do all that you can.

Over time, I realized that [those limits]Your greatest secret weapon could be you. You are someone people have an opinion of. You can surprise them and outdo yourself by being open to their perspectives.

This feeds my curiosity. It’s a great opportunity to learn more about a new person joining my firm. Their potential. What they are trying to do for the world. Their perspective will be different than mine. Spending time together with them can help me grow and learn.

Early on at M&T, maybe 20 years ago, they decided for some reason that they should get me a [career] coach. On the fourth session [the coach]He called me and told me, “OK. I’m done with you.” “There’s nothing more.”

Then I asked him, “What does he mean? We just started?” He said it was really easy. People don’t understand you.”

It was as though you were in large rooms and somebody pulled out the fire alarm. All would race out. You would sit at your desk calmly as the last person to look back. There are many things in life more frightening than the sound of the fire alarm.

Then I thought, “OK. So what’s the best thing to do?” I told him, “You need to tell your story.” Simply tell your stories of how and why you came to be where you are today.

People telling their story is a huge asset — for not only the individual, but the company. People will discover more commonalities when they tell their stories. You will be able to have conversations and build relationships on a whole new level. This was truly a turning point.