CEO Caroline Farberger on leadership, coming out as transgender
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The Behind the Desk series features this story. CNBC Make It meets with business leaders to learn everything about their lives, from where they came to be to where they are today to how they get up in the morning and what motivates them to continue on to the daily grind.
For nearly five decades, Caroline FarbergerSpend every day pretending.
Her professional name was Carl Farberger. She is a highly-skilled executive and rose to the position of CEO at ICA, the Swedish insurance firm. “I was in an excellent socioeconomic situation, I had a large home, and I had a family. [three] children,” Farberger, 54, says. The complete package.
She began telling the story at age 8 CNBC Make ItShe felt as if she was a part of an actor’s on-stage character. She says, “Being male was my character and my role.” She was born a male and kept her femininity hidden at home and at school, in fear of not being accepted.
Farbarger, with the help of her husband, was able to get the courage and do the right thing in 2017. According to her, Farbarger felt instantly that being a woman on the streets in Stockholm was her true identity.
“Finally at 49, I felt authentic,” she said. Later, I realized that I couldn’t go back.
Farberger was dressed up as a woman for the first time on June 5, 2017, in Stockholm.
Caroline Farberger
Farberger announced to her 120-member staff that Thursday, September 13th 2018, it would be her last day as Carl. Caroline would take over the role of Farberger on her last day as Carl. “I wanted to make it work from weekdays to prove that I am still the same person, so that I could show it was just packaging,” she said.
This was nerve-wracking. She adds, “I had a lot of to lose.”
Farberger was fired as Carl’s final day at work on September 13, 2018.
Courtesy: Caroline Farberger
Today, Farberger deems her transition a success. Farberger was a success. Sweden’s first CEOShe was the first transgender person to come out publicly. Wellstreet.
She said, “I believed that I wouldn’t be successful.” I’m now as happy and content as anybody. Nothing has been lost. My position is in the business. “I have my spouse, my kids and my house.”
Farberger shares her struggles, the changes it made her as a leader, and how being a CEO helped her get ahead.
Her leadership style after transition: “It has fundamentally changed me.”
In the beginning, I was skeptical that I would ever change. In my initial transition, I believed I’d be the same leader. It has fundamentally changed my life.
Being a heterosexual white male in business is an honor. Social structures within business are created by men for women. In many ways women, persons of color, disabled people and others must follow the rules set by men.
[Before I transitioned]Diversity was more of an elusive statistic to me. To look attractive, I needed to have a number of women in my life. It is so much easier to have people from different backgrounds around me. You empower those that are affected. It also makes you more productive as a business if you learn how to use the unique talents of others.
My behavior sets the tone and culture for my entire team as a leader. My managers will not be inclusive if I amn’t inclusive.
I’ve promised myself to never, ever play theater again, and to create an environment where everyone else can be themselves — as opposed to what I learned early in my career, which was to project an image to fit into the organization.
The hardest part about her transition was: “My biggest transphobia is my own.”
Coming out about myself was the hardest aspect of my transition. I have the greatest transphobia. It was something I believed I would fail to do if I didn’t play the role of the male character I wanted.
My family and friends have taken this very well. When my wife and me told our children about it, they were only 12 and 7 years old at that time. The “big talk” ensued, where I informed them I was going to change my name from Carl into Caroline and live as a woman.
And they both said OK. My wife, and I, looked at each other thinking, It’s really that easy!
What is normal and what isn’t normal is something I learned as a child. It isn’t in my head when we were born but it is shaped by the social structure of our upbringing. It is a joy to see the next generation accepting differences in gender identity and sexual orientations much easier than mine as a child.
When I am welcomed at work, it is a feeling of ‘I’m in an privileged position to be a chief executive’
One uncomfortable moment has never happened to me [at work]I am still baffled by the question.
It is clear that I have seen difficulties in my relationships with transgender people at the lower ranks of the corporate ladder. I realized that I was not a normal person, but I am a chief executive officer.
I am not a warehouse employee. My coworkers are white collar workers who have high levels of education and are politically correct. Although there might be some people who are unhappy with me, they most likely think before they act. There might have been problems if I’d worked in a warehouse.
Prior to my transition, I believed I would need to make sacrifices. It was likely that I would feel lonely, be mistreated and have less chance. I had prepared. I am now able to take advantage of so many opportunities that I wouldn’t have had if I remained a heterosexual white male middle-aged man.
To be open and encourage others to be their best selves has given me additional meaning in life.
This interview has been edited to ensure clarity and length.
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