This is the money talk couples should have before they get married
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Millions of Americans have had to cancel their plans due to the Covid-19 pandemic.
In record numbers, nuptials will take place as 2022 progresses, and we are hopeful that the worst of the pandemic has passed.
Wedding Report is a research company that studies wedding market trends. It projects that there will 2.5 million weddings this calendar year. That’s the largest number of weddings since 1984. This is an increase of 1.9 million weddings in 2021, and 1.3million in 2020. An average couple spending $24,300 for their wedding is predicted this year.
Potential spouses may use this big life event to ensure they’re on the same page regarding their finances.
When planning a wedding, money conversations are bound to arise. This conversation can involve not only the bride and groom but also their parents.
Kathleen Burns Kingsbury is a wealth psychology expert who hosts the podcast Breaking the Money Silence. She said, “Your money history’s right there in the same room as you.”
Kingsbury suggests that partners avoid arguments when financial conflicts arise and that they instead ask questions about whether there is a “money value” you don’t share with your partner.
Kingsbury explained, “It is an opportunity to have money conversations and decide how you want to spend your time.”
Set up formal money talks
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It is a great idea to have a couple of formal talks about money, even if they are sparked by an impromptu conversation.
Kingsbury suggests three meetings lasting 30 minutes each.
The first member of the pair gets to go with their partner to “money island”. Each partner has the opportunity to share how they manage money and what lessons they have learned.
Kingsbury explained, “It’s sort of like taking them along an exploration of what you think and feel regarding money.”
The partner in return should be open to listening and not judgment.
A 30-minute second meeting will give each partner the opportunity to discuss their financial beliefs and past without judgement.
The third meeting lasts 30 minutes and both partners can talk about their views on money.
Kingsbury said that it is important to highlight the good things. It’s important to not focus on how one partner is in debt. Instead, look at the fact they might prioritize spending on experiences.
These conversations are a good way to start a conversation about how money will be handled as a couple.
Loop in a financial professional
When couples are trying to determine their future financial paths together, it can be constructive to have a third party professional such as a certified Financial Planner to help them make sure that they’re on the right path.
Kingsbury stated that even if they don’t have much in the way of assets, or aren’t necessarily wealthy, financial planners are available to help them.
Releve Financial founder and CEO Dawn Dahlby said she would recommend that married couples seek out an expert for help in identifying key areas. She can also assist them in determining where to marry, pay for the wedding or plan where to take their honeymoon.
Dahlby said, “It doesn’t matter how short-term it is, but the larger picture of where you are going” and has locations in Woodbury, St. Louis Park (Minnesota) and Scottsdale, Arizona.
Dahlby stated that you should have a financial plan and a third party present to talk with you about the things you aren’t focusing on.
Ideally, couples should connect with a professional who will help them create a strategy — such as building their cash reserves and financial protection — rather than trying to sell them a financial product, she said.
Financially, get in touch
Even before the wedding, couples often make major financial decisions together. Other couples may decide not to get married.
Kingsbury says that it is important to communicate money to people even though it may seem trivial.
You shouldn’t bring up the subject on a first date. Kingsbury suggested that it is important to discuss the topic once you have established your commitment as a couple.
Addressing those conflicts well — and resolving them — can help strengthen the relationship.
Kingsbury explained that a partner with a strong relationship to money will have greater intimacy.
Do you plan a wedding in midst of record-high inflation? If you’re taking creative cost-saving moves and are willing to be interviewed for a story, please email lorie.konish@nbcuni.com.
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