Top tips for raising kind kids
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Teaching children kindness and compassion early in life is crucial to their growth.
A child who knows how to thank and say please is one reason parents need to teach their kids respect for others.
studyPublished in 2012 by researchers at The Canadian University of British Columbia’s psychology department, the study examined how toddlers behaved when they displayed “prosocial behavior,” which is a form of kindness and generosity towards others.
The study found that toddlers are happier when they give treats to other children than receiving them.
The study also showed that children were happier after engaging in “costly giving – forfeiting their own resources – than when giving the same treat at no cost.”
Lara Aknin, one of the authors of the study, told CNBC via email that “ideally caregivers can scaffold these opportunities to allow kids to give in meaningful and direct ways that lead kids to feel like they have chosen to help.”
The positive feelings that a child might feel from showing generosity or support to one another are “likely to inspire kind action again in the future,” Aknin said.
Kind school children
There’s always another. studyIt was suggested that children’s kindness could be related to their school performance.
This study was published by researchers from Stanford University, the University of Leeds in the U.K., and Bradford Teaching Hospitals NHS Foundation Trust.
Up to seven years of age, over 1,000 Bradford children were observed from four stages.
Study results suggested that prosocial behavior could be protective for academic achievement in children who have limited educational resources.
Emma Armstrong Carter, co-author, said via video that one of the best ways to instill this behavior among young children is to have them participate in family activities. It could be helping to cook, clean, care for animals, or help younger siblings with homework. But, she stressed that this depends on many factors such as age and socioeconomic status of the household.
She said that children can also help other kids by “broadening our understanding”.
One way to help others is, in her words, “prosocial risk taking.”
Armstrong-Carter and another researcher, for instance, discovered that teens often help each other in ways which could put their reputation at risk.
These could include speaking up against bullying and spending time in the company of “unpopular” peers.
Armstrong-Carter stated that these behaviors aren’t always considered helping by teachers, parents and communities, despite them being social.
Empathy and intrinsic motivation
CNBC interviewed Dave Whitaker via telephone, the author of “The Kindness Principle”: Making Relational Behavior Management Work in Schools. He said that children should be encouraged to feel intrinsically motivated, rather than externally induced, such as rewards or punishments.
It was crucial to instill this belief early, he said. “Every interaction a child makes with an adult or other child is the possibility for a relationship.” [to form in the brain], or is essentially an intervention — it’s a learning experience for those children.”
Whitaker suggests that modeling the behavior parents desire for their children is one way to achieve this. This helps them teach their kids how to control their emotional reactions to various situations.
Whitaker suggested that parents use “restorative” questions or discussions to resolve conflicts, as opposed to using “demand language.” This helps develop empathy in children. Whitaker, for example, explained it is better to assist a child in understanding what they did wrong and how they can resolve the issue than to demand they make an apology.
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