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How Money Can Build Or Break Relationships, From Two Experts


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Money is a common topic for couples to disagree about. A 2019 studyKnoxville at the University of Tennessee reported that no matter how happy a couple is, they still disagree on money.

Talking about finances isn’t necessarily a bad thing, particularly if you are single or in a relationship. There are many things to consider. recent study from eToroIt is a good idea to own cryptocurrency, and place it in your online dating profile.

No matter whether you’re married, in casual dating, or somewhere in between, Americans need to continue building healthy relationships, while also working towards their financial goals. SelectTwo experts spoke to us about how to make money more manageable and improve your intimate relationships.

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The intersection of money and love

The fact that committed partners tend to be financially successful is not surprising. You can find out more about A Pew Research studyIn 2019, both men and women earned more, and are more financially secure in a long-term relationship. This doesn’t necessarily mean that someone shouldn’t date just for the sake of financial security.

However, it is normal for you to inquire about a partner’s financial status if you are actively dating. Damona Hoffman, OkCupid Dating coach and Host The Dates & Mates Podcast, suggests “daters who get better with their money will naturally attract better dating prospects because it is still one of the primary attractors in our society.”

Actually, OkCupid’s pandemic saw a nearly twofold increase in the probability of one person saying that wealth is important to a match. Hoffman stated that this is likely due to the low financial security of many people during the Covid-19-induced shutdowns.

Therefore, having more than one is always a plus in the dating world.

The problem is that the same thing that may be appealing to many people can cause the breakup of a relationship. A survey by the Institute for Divorce Financial Analysts, “money issues” is the third leading cause of divorce — behind “basic incompatibility” and “infidelity”. A survey participant stated that “many married couples lack communication skills to deal with financial differences in the marriage.”

What is the point of a “plus” being the end of many relationships when it can be a plus?

Psychology of money and love

While there are no secrets to success in every relationship, the common threads that make strong relationships work well together are Shared values and shared goals. Hoffman says that personal finance is a topic you should naturally explore.

She explained, “You are unlikely to be perfect aligned with those.” [goals and values]These are important decisions, and discussing them gives you the chance to get to know your partner better so that you can compromise.

And they are formed before you even earn your first penny.

Alex Melkumian (founder of the Financial Psychology CenterLos Angeles CA. Select shared how each person’s “money story starts in childhood. He said that the foundation for understanding money and relating to it is built with one’s family, as well as any financial literacy training they have received throughout their lives.

We all have different backgrounds and are raised in different ways, so how we view and perceive money will vary from one person to the next. Dr. Melkumian stated, “It’s very rare that both of the partners in a romance come at it with the same (or similar) money story.”

It doesn’t matter what you have been through, or how hard it can be to discuss money, it is important that you and your partner talk about your financial situation.

Talking about money in relationships or with an existing partner: How do you communicate your feelings?

It can be hard to talk about money in any situation, including dating. asking for a raise at workOr, even better between friends.

It can be embarrassing to have a poor financial situation. Talk about financial matters if you are financially educated and like to discuss them. Roth IRAOr the most recent meme stockIt can cause resentment among others.

Before you start your next conversation about money, here are some dos and don’ts.

  • It is important to take the time to get to know one another’s beliefsThis could lead to differences in values. Talk with each other about why and how much you value certain things.
  • It is important to be clear about who will pay for whatIt shouldn’t be an guessing game as to who paid for what. It doesn’t matter if the bill arrives or if you stand in front of the register to find out, it is before the problem arises.
  • You shouldn’t force someone to do your biddingDr. Melkumian stated that everyone has a unique money story. This can have an impact on how one acts toward money or towards another person. No matter what your financial situation is, you shouldn’t force or dictate to your partner how money should be done. This can cause resentment or other problems.
  • Consider getting ‘financially naked if you are thinking of marriage“: What did you know? one-third of Americans admit they financially cheat on a partner? It may be sexual infidelity but it is possible financial infidelityIt can also be destructive. Talking about difficult topics is crucial if you want to move forward in your relationship. credit card debtOr student loans.

The bottom line

Money is a difficult topic to discuss, especially when one is in a relationship. Actually, it is actually quite easy to talk about money. Wells Fargo surveyAccording to research, people believe that it is more easy to discuss politics and religion than financial matters. Hoffman and Dr. Melkumian are firm believers in the value of talking to money during any phase of an intimate relationship.

No matter whether you’re casually discussing what the future holds, cryptocurrency coinDiscussing, or setting up a date investing goalsAn honest conversation with your soon-to be spouse can make a difference in the future of your relationship.

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Note from the Editor: Opinions, analyses, reviews or recommendations expressed in this article are those of the Select editorial staff’s alone, and have not been reviewed, approved or otherwise endorsed by any third party.